Tommy Fong Mar

Tommy Mar, beloved husband, father, and grandfather, passed away peacefully at his daughter’s home on December 30, 2023 surrounded by his family. Born Mah Fook Tung in 1937 to Wong King Shew and Mah Moon Fook, Tommy spent much of his childhood in Toisan, China before immigrating to the United States in 1947 to escape the communist takeover.

Though he never especially enjoyed school as a child, preferring instead to spend his time trying to catch falcons or fish with his brother Wayne, he excelled in math and eventually earned a Bachelor of Economics from Fresno State. In 1964, he began his work for the California State Department of Savings and Loan, where he was promoted to Senior Examiner and became known for his integrity and his meticulous attention to detail.

He met the love of his life, Majorie “Marge” Ames, in 1968 through one of the first computer dating services. The fee at the time was $10, and whenever they disagreed, they would playfully tease each other saying they wanted their $10 back. There would be no refunds, but there was an abundance of rewards. Tommy and Marge were married for 54 years, having four children and seven grandchildren. After retiring, Tommy would have been happy to stay at home caring for his grandchildren, watching football, and cooking, but Marge, being his perfect complement, had a taste for travel and encouraged him to come along. He’d resist at first but would ultimately enjoy their many adventures. They made a good pair, always orbiting one another. Photos frequently had to be retaken because he would be looking at Marge instead of the camera. “Dad, look at the camera, not at Mom!” became a regular refrain at family gatherings. His love for her endured until he could no longer open his eyes.

Above all, Tommy was known for his kindness. He never failed to give to someone in need, whether stranger or friend. He was a devoted son, brother, and uncle. As a father and grandfather, his love was all encompassing. He was the best broccoli beef maker, sunblock applier, and boo-boo kisser there ever was. Sometimes his love was made evident in a delicious prime rib dinner or a playful game of “shark,” “tiger” or “dinosaur” with his grandkids.  Other times--many other times--it manifested itself in a worry about a newly identified danger, which he felt compelled to warn his children about. On the morning of an anticipated solar eclipse, he once taped notes on each of his children’s doors before leaving for work, reminding them not to look directly at the eclipse as it would take “a thousand pairs of sunglasses to gain minimal eye protection.” When they were small, some of his grandchildren called him “Ah-ah” because of his habit of shadowing them to point out every possible hazard, cautioning “Ah-ah, don’t touch.” He sought inexhaustibly to nourish, to delight, to protect. He was a caretaker extraordinaire.

Tommy was preceded in death by his parents, Mah Moon Fook and Wong King Shew; siblings, Steve Mar, Jean Wong, Wayne Mar, and brother who passed in infancy; nieces, Vicky Mar and Donna Mar; grandnephew, Aaron Tom; and grandniece, Serena Ames. He is survived by his wife, Marjorie Mar; children, Brad Mar (Wendy), Christina Mar (Jacob), Rebecca Mar-Heyming (Theodore), and Stephanie Drury (Ivan); grandchildren, Cassandra Mendoza (Adrian), Josefine Mar, Kai Vogelgesang, Ellena Vogelgesang, Catherine Heyming, Theodore Heyming, and Ian Heyming; nephews, Raymond Mar and William Wong; nieces, Audrey Ward, Diana Fogg, Carmen Russ, Mamie Hershberger, and Harriet Tom; he is also survived by many beloved grandnieces, grandnephews, and friends. 

A memorial service will be held at the South Campus of Faith Baptist Church on Wednesday, January 10 at 10:30 a.m. A Chinese service will be held at Reardon Simi Valley Funeral Home on Tuesday, January 9 at 5:00 p.m. Flowers may be sent to 22222 Saticoy St., Canoga Park, CA, 91303.